I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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