my mouth tastes like poor choices
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
