i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
