We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
