Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just want nice things and good sex
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
