i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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