Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
