Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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