Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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