This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
