So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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