She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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