i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
third nipple confirmed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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