Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
