Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
