Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Randomize
