If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is wine microwaveable?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
