well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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