He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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