Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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