she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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