He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
