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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said

  (770): View more from Georgia

  she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You KNEW her power was out...

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

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• (646): View more from New York

  I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Do you have feelings for this penis?

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.

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