Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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