whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
