i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just gift wrapped bread.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
