Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So. Much. Porn.
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