My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
