i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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