Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
