You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
