I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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