do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
