I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
