I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize