moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
