just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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