sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
