i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
