I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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