Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
