Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
