He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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