The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
