just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
