8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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