I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
