Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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