Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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