haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
