So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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