He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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