that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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