How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
