I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Duck Duck Cougar?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize