i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
