If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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