i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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