What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize