I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
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