It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
