i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
