So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
