pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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