It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
